Observe just how your abdominal wall surface lifts wie you inhale und lowers again wie you exhale.

Du schaust: Hund jammert wenn er alleine ist

Perhaps sie can also feel exactly how the kühl air enters with your nose, climate gets warmed über the body as it operation out.

Direct her attention zu your right forearm.

Make a fist with your appropriate hand.

Now, let go!


After you’ve taken care of the formalities, sie meet Mike in the smoking cigarettes area. Mike ist a seventeen-year-old trainee. That calls freundin “Ma’m,” asks how old you are, und guesses ’bout twenty. Then you talk like old pals. That asks whereby your room is and guesses it’s probably on Five.

How d’you know—?

Mike shrugs his shoulders. Ns speech-impaired room on One, those who need nursing care on Two, ns accident victims and amputees top top Three, the stroke victim on Four, die normals top top Five, and the psychos ~ above Six.


You’re relieved due to the fact that you’re twenty und normal.


During the admission interview the head physician says you thirty-three and shows freundin a video bei which a gazelle operation through the savanna choose mad—it runs and runs and runs and then slams v full force into a tree, which has actually three lions lying und watching next kommen sie it.


You are the gazelle, says the head doctor, but freundin don’t want to end up like this. That’s why you’re here.


You hold ns x-rays and images containing the definitive proof von where und why it harms under die head doctor’s nose. Castle clearly show that something has actually prolapsed an your back, and “Acute Orthopedics” is written top top your clinical referral.


The head medical professional doesn’t think much of images in general. Experience, statistics, and various studies oase shown that ns power of pictures is overrated. Ns head doctor testen the nerve and says ns nerve’s fine. This sound somehow familiar.

The head doctor asks what freundin want kommen sie achieve. You want it kommen sie stop hurting.


By what percent?

A hundred.


Tomorrow you will do it get bei injection—he says they’ve had success with injections. In addition, you’ll gain various therapies, presentations, lots von questionnaires to fill out, und you’ll save a diary.





At lunch sie get zu know ns others. The others space anywhere—God only knows—between eighteen und eighty-eight. They to speak hello, hi, those up, reap your lunch, und cheers.

Their names are Steffi, Susi, Melli, Martina, Alois, Diana, Katja, Nadine, Claudia, Ralf, Fanny, Angela, Bernd, Andi, Renate, Petra, Moritz, Felix, Reiner, Doris, and Michael.

They have everything und take everything. They play Skip-Bo, bühne 10, Yahtzee, und UNO.

They clock GZSZ, jungle Camp, die Bachelor, and Bergdoktor, go to ns cafeteria or to the pub around the corner.


The others are all fucked up. Not you. You haven’t slept zum three months because it hurts, that’s all. You’ll acquire a few injections and an ten days you’ll walk home, also though sie no longer recognize where that is.




You to fill out the questionnaires, write precisely where und how und when it hurts, under exertion and at rest. It’s hard zum you to answer these questions accurately, also though you’ve to be hurting there for some time now.




There room only double rooms on ns ward. Her roommate ist called Doris. Doris damages all over. Doris ist fifty-one, in her second marriage, und has a thirty-five-year-old son. Doris has currently been here four times. Doris’ bedside table ist covered v flowers, glasses, bottles, und packages von cookies. Doris one of two people watches television, speak on ns phone, knits, or reads freizeit Revue, video der Frau, the TV guide, or some dubious winter bestseller. The erste thing Doris speak you is that ns woman who occupied your bed prior to was beleuchten on wheels. Climate she asks what your astrological authorize is.

At night Doris leaves ns door to die balcony offen a crack because she sweats dafür much and has to go outside weist least three mal a night.




You attract lousy smiley faces in your journal, drink “Peace von Mind” tea till that makes sie sick, und begin kommen sie count sheep.





Your physical therapist zu sein married, has blue eyes, and makes freundin laugh. Climate he asks freundin uncomfortable questions. Sie answer lock truthfully, also though you’re sure he’ll lump you bei with all ns others. Freundin want kommen sie object and tell him he kann sein save himself all the pop psychology trouble, und that you are notfall one von them. Other hurts, there zu sein proof of it, and—

Where exactly?

Here, here, and here, und that’s why you’re stand crooked and can’t sleep and—

He wants zu know why freundin can’t sleep—because it harms or because your thoughts room going round and round?

Because my thoughts—


The physics therapist says to bend over und touch her toes together best freundin can, keeping your legs straight. That hurts, but freundin touch die floor through your hands. The physical therapist asks wie you touched ns ground through your hands weil das the tonnage time. Sie can’t remember.


The physical therapist wants to know how lang you tun können sit, stand, und walk.

For as lang as sie need to, sie say.


When does it anfang to hurt, when exactly?

You oase no idea und pull a number out von thin air.


A deer suddenly shows up outside the window. That begins zu snow, the deer runs away. Sie would run v it, if freundin were not on die run.


You might verbally checkmate ns physical therapist bei less than 3 minutes, but sie are notfall on attempt here.


The physics therapist prüfung the nerve und says the nerve’s fine. That asks what you want zu achieve. Freundin want it zu stop hurting.


By what percentage?

A hundred.


The physics therapist says freundin need to lower your expectations und that exercises and massages will not help bei your case. Ns physical therapist can go fuck himself.





You pen all your wishes on the erste injection, but later on only your ass ist numb and it still hurts in the areas where the hurts. Maybe a little less, you can’t specifically say. After ~ all, your body does notfall talk zu you. You start to talk through your table companions.


For part people, that works only after die second injection, says Melli. For her, the injection only functioned after die second time. You are relieved und do not give trost hope.





Your massage therapist is a einzel mother und says you have to strengthen your pelvic floor. She then asks what kind of exercises die physical therapist proved you. Freundin say ns physical therapist didn’t nur you anything; he zu sein just mean to you. Ns massage therapist says the physical therapist to know what he is doing, he’s the best.





Ursula asks if you will go zum a walk with her, because she doesn’t dare kommen sie go into ns forest alone, because, a young woman was recently attacked by a refugee in the area she come from.

Ursula zu sein fifty, has three children and problems hinweisen work, and she hurts everywhere. Freundin walk in the forest with Ursula. Every five minutes Ursula stops zu take pictures. Freundin hate that. One must either to walk or not walk.




You keep your ears open bei the cigarette smoking area. Most human being respect freundin because you use grammatically exactly sentences in Standard German. One guy talks to you later, hoping that you did not misunderstand him—basically, you know, he has nothing against foreigners, he just thinks that the men bei Syria must kindly pick up their arms und defend their homes und their residential property rather than come over kommen sie us.



The head doctor provides a class explaining the 30-percent rule. That goes like this: sie determine your boundaries on how lang you can stand, sit, und walk, und then freundin take 30 percent von that und begin training punkt that level.


You ask the physical therapist wie man you are going to anfang exercising. He says you schutz to anfang at one percent and then shows sie pictures of his family.

You might puke.




The Croat is in The Guinness Book des Records. He ist a document holder in breaking dinge with his bare hands. You ask if he can teach you zu do that, once you’re out of here. He claims he can.




On die weekend, die others go home or schutz visitors. Freundin don’t walk anywhere, and no one comes to lakers you, because freundin told anyone that freundin were an India.




Five mal a day, freundin bend over through your legs straight and touch the floor through your hands.

It hurts.




In the gruppe you all find out all type of details about the psychotherapist’s privatgelände life.

The psychotherapist was unemployed zum a time, was married, und has jetzt been single weil das seven years. He und his ex-wife battled over die dog. Die dog zu sein a searching dog und needs a gewächs of exercise, dafür the psychotherapist has to leave five minute early. Die psychotherapist says zu imagine a highway. The you’re stand there, und the cars space driving previous you. One after the other. Freundin should make a vehicle stop, stuff a thought an the trunk and let it walk on, und then stop die next car. Und so on.

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In die dining room you observe the amputees und feel sorry weil das yourself. One is missing in arm, another a leg. When someone zu sein missing in arm or a leg, you kann see that. No one kann sein see those wrong through you.




You lie bei bed und imagine a highway, die cars driving past you, one von one. You try kommen sie make a car stop but you can’t carry out it. You stand, furious, on the highway. Sie are a young, extremely independent woman in her thirties, ns most well-known high achiever of our society; attractive, successful, socially connected, and you schutz tried everything: acupuncture, Ayurveda, Atlas, aroma therapy, chiropractic, craniosacral, thorn, electrotherapy, mud, Feldenkrais, reflexology, globules, kinesiology, cold therapy, opiates, surgery, osteopathy, Pilates, Rolfing, cupping, Schuessler, cause point, TCM, heat, Vitalogy, und yoga. It is why she here.




The physics therapist says freundin need zu develop a better awareness des the problem, because it’s not just something it is happened in your back, but deshalb in your life. Freundin know that, you’re not stupid, but you’ll decide what needs to be repaired first. Ns physical therapist states it doesn’t arbeit that way.





You walk to the cafeteria v Moritz and Melli und play Skip-Bo, you drink non-alcoholic beer, and you want to stick a post-it on her forehead that says: ns suffering. “Breathless through die Night” ist playing on ns radio. The makes sie want zu play Skat.


Alois never whines und can beat Skat. Alois walks in a funny way, und his ideal eye is a little droopy. Also though all die tales des woe drive freundin crazy, you ask Alois whether freundin may ask what’s wrong v him. He’s had actually a prosthesis zum twenty-five years. He had actually a motorcycle accident twenty-five years ago, wie man he was nineteen. His belly was torn open, his thigh fully smashed. They cut off his foot at the thigh, however couldn’t close off the stump since his blood had lost its ability kommen sie clot. His friend donated blood till it no longer verlief out from ns stump. 3 months after ns accident Alois went back to work, and climbed on his motorcycle 4 months later. Alois doesn’t schutz a neu injury—he has three children, a wife, in-laws bei need of care, und a business, and just had kommen sie get out. It is why he’s here.


You require a third einer to play Skat.


The mrs soldier knows someone who can play Skat. Die female soldier ist twenty-four und a erste Lieutenant und has been put on Six. Ns people on sechs are not, in general, as forthcoming through their tales des woe. The six soldiers return from goals abroad are located on Six. But die female soldier was notfall sent abroad. Die female soldier had actually a crappy childhood, all the trimmings included.


The Skat player ist called Bernd and he establishes apps. Bernd is top top antidepressants, you kann see that best away. Freundin know what that looks like. Civilization on antidepressants wear a grinning antidepressant mask, and you get die feeling the you’re notfall really obtaining through to them.

Bernd zu sein a good Skat player bei spite von this. Unfortunately, he ist released the next day.






The psychologist asks wie man you last cried. When psychologists questioning this question, you know she going to cry bei the following twenty minutes. Freundin cry prefer a baby. There room plenty des reasons.

The psychologist says: the body zu sein the expression des the soul.

You ask: What do freundin mean über the soul? have you ever before seen a soul?






You pen all your really hopes on the second injection, but afterwards only her ass zu sein numb again und it still hurts bei the areas where the hurts. Probably a wenig less, sie can’t exactly say. 


For some, it only works after die third injection, claims Susi. Susi ist thirty, married with two small children, has actually long blond hair, and had her breasts enlarged zum seven thousand euros. You have no children but you schutz a career instead. Susi has been right here three times und gushes over a medical professional with firm hands.





You repaint a squiggle on the spot where it hurts and tell ns physical therapist that it hurts specifically there und that the should lastly do something. After all, that’s what he’s being paid for.

The physical therapist presses on the spot, sie scream. He states that none von it zu sein better wie man he presses there, right?





The Italian zu sein forty-five and has in espresso machine bei his room. He started working wie man he was eleven, moving forty-kilo bags des Sicilian oranges every summer. The came zu Germany wie man he was twenty. Erste he worked in a textile factory, climate ten years an construction, und he’s jetzt been bei a dairy manufacturing facility on in assembly line zum fifteen years. He has actually a four-year-old daughter who zu sein growing nach oben trilingual, due to the fact that his 2nd wife ist Romanian. He has actually three daughters bei their mid-twenties, every with secure jobs, native his zuerst marriage.

The Italian ist proud des himself.





The psychotherapist passes around chocolate mind to die group. Sie should all hold die chocolate heart bei your open palm zum a minute an front of you, look at it, odor it, lick the briefly. Then freundin may put your heart an your mouth and suck on it, and finally freundin are allowed kommen sie bite into it und swallow it.





You stand with trembling legs on two taut cables, one meter above ns ground, doing squats.

The trembling gradually subsides.





You pin your remaining hopes on die third injection, but after that once again just your ass zu sein numb und it blieb hurts in the places where it hurts. The head physician says over there won’t be much more than three injections weil das now. Ns physical therapist says you should stay zum three much more weeks.


There are jene you need zu do, but no one zu sein waiting zum you. You think von the gazelle on die highway bei the dorn movie.





You tell ns head doctor that freundin want zu get part sleep for a change und ask zum something that would knock out in elephant. The gives sie valerian. Die nurse says valerian functions great zum her—you’re skeptical. However thank God you"ve gotten zu know Stephan. Stephan ist twenty-seven and the belastung time he play Skat was ten year ago. Stephan laughs a lot, talks loudly, und always aussehen tired. Stephan has holes bei his head and has a prescription that allows him to smoke pot. You tun können get a prescription kommen sie smoke pot if freundin are past treatment and have a doctor to certify it. Freundin smoke through him, climate take 2 pills of valerian, and are able kommen sie get some sleep for the erste time.


You decide to stay, since you’ll acquire a single room as shortly as one ist vacated.




You room with her massage therapist in the water, swimming on a plank sitting backwards.

A young einer with sad eye approaches ns edge des the pool an a wheelchair und raises self onto crutches. Bei ugly stump protrudes out von his swim trunks.

Then the drops down into ns pool and swims die crawl evenly, back und forth, und you no longer think von the stump. Your massage therapist says ns young einer used zu be a professional swimmer.


When a skilled swimmer’s leg is removed, that’s ns worst thing that kann happen to him.

If her head to be removed, then that would certainly be die worst thing that could happen zu you.


You do not want kommen sie lose her head, deshalb you remain here.




You go to the chapel zum worship. Sie sing: Glorious God, we worship you. The pastor says: Laughter zu sein the ideal medicine.


At dinner, Steffi und Susi talk around their doctors und you talk around about your physical therapist. Steffi imitates her physical therapist, die head doctor, und her doctor, and you can’t prevent laughing, und you think ns pastor might be right. Then you go to the empty pub around the corner und drink non-alcoholic beer und fizzy drinks und you every laugh until you can’t laugh any more.




You fehlschlagen Doris. Your new roommate is Martina and she’s die same period as you. Martina harms all over, has seven cats, und lives with herstellung parents. Her father gave hoch his dairy unternehmen twenty-one years ago and switched kommen sie fattening calves zum slaughter. Die calves come to ns farm wie they’re six-weeks-old. They’re notfall supposed kommen sie be tied nach oben until they space six-months-old. Then, zum a year and a half, they stand an the same place und eat and shit, eat and shit, and then they are picked up and processed into veal cutlets and veal strips. She feel sorry weil das the calves. Freundin feel sorry weil das Martina.





You sleep poorly und continue kommen sie play cat und mouse with ns physical therapist, even though you’ve lang since operation out of steam. Ns physical therapist claims it doesn’t surprise ihm a little bit that die injections don’t aid you, because everything zu sein connected to everything. It’s her head that decides whether und how much something hurts. You have to reprogram her head, and he can’t help freundin with that. Die physical therapist has once again ruined your day.





You want kommen sie sleep and to divorce your physical therapist. Freundin go to die head doctor. The head physician says freundin must set your borders with the physical therapist. Sie decide kommen sie set his limits.





Stephan has actually no more weed und you do notfall sleep because sie are thinking about ns physical therapist.




A disc does not herniate due to the fact that someone has actually died, freundin scream, when ns physical therapist asks just how you’re doing, and you speak that sie want to end your relationship. Ns physical therapist ist flabbergasted. You scream that something hurts und I typical really und you want him to finally believe you. He claims he trust you, the this should notfall be ignored, however that everything ist connected kommen sie everything. You say that might be so, yet if he can not bring rückseitig the dead, then at least he can do something weil das you, instead von annoying freundin with his stupid theories due to the fact that that makes sie furious and then it harms more. Ns physical therapist doesn’t notfall want zu hurt you any more and massages sie a bit. Sie declare a kind of truce.




The head medical professional says that everything möchte be fine und that something is wrong v your rückseitig but that’s not all the is. He called his ship Hugo und talks kommen sie it every day. You tell Susi around Hugo. Susi sometimes talks to produziert nerve, whenever that bugs her. Die effect von the injection just lasted 2 days through her, jetzt it hurts even more. Susi will get one more injection und is pinning all produziert hopes ~ above it.




The physics therapist take away you über the hands. Freundin say you kann stand top top one leg there is no holding on zu anything.

But it’s easier this way, right?





On die weekend sie go kommen sie where the grave is. You’re crying before you reach the stone, then you stand there und say, ich miss you, ich miss you deswegen much. Und you perform squats. Your legs stop shaking and it harms less.





The physics therapist asks exactly how your weekend was. You say you"ve been doing squats.




You move into a single room and go to the pub next door v Susi and Steffi in the evening.





You ask die sad young man in the wheelchair what his nennen is. His name is Jan. Jan says that what he’s missing hurts much more than what’s there.

You know what the means.





You placed a piece des chocolate an your palm. Freundin look hinweisen it, sie smell it, lick it, you put it in your mouth, and suck ~ above it. Then freundin bite right into it and swallow it.


You stand up much more often now und make circles through your shoulders, sie sit straight now und then, and sometimes choose cherries from the neighbor"s garden. Sie swim backwards sit on a board und no longer run roughly as if someone was out to get you. You stand on ns highway and stuff thoughts into trunks, sie go into ns woods und try zu make out five various sounds, smells, and colors, und then consciousness them every simultaneously. You no much longer bend over as far as you can, however rather only as far as you can without hurting.


You throw a few baskets with the physical therapist und let ns physical therapist win. The physical therapist claims he will fehlschlagen you.

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You accomplish Mike in the stairwell. Mike asks if you want to go schutz a smoke through him.

ko the ket noi database!